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The Stories That Stuck With Peta In 2024: Season Four Highlights

As 2024 comes to a close, join Peta for a special highlight episode of The I Can’t Stand Podcast. Reflecting on her favourite moments from Season Four, Peta revisits powerful stories of acceptance, resilience, allyship, and the importance of disability employment. Whether you’re a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this episode celebrates the voices and experiences that made this season unforgettable.


Want to hear more? You can listen to the full episodes featured in this highlights episode, just check the links below and dive into the incredible conversations that shaped season four.


 

Connect with Peta:

Instagram: @petahooke




 

Episode Transcript:

 

Peta [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to this very special episode of The I Can't Stand Podcast the podcast, answering your questions about what life is like when you have a disability. My name is Peta. I have cerebral palsy and I'm your host. As 2024 comes to a close. I've taken a moment to bring you some of my favourite guests that I had on the podcast in season four this year of the I Can't Stand podcast. While many of these conversations can be defined under certain themes of acceptance, allyship, resilience, low expectations and the importance of disability employment. Each person's perspective, I think is really worth listening to. So whether this is your first time listening to the I Can't Stand Podcast,  welcome or you've been with me since the very beginning, enjoy me in your eyes for the last time in 2024. These powerful stories and perspectives of these amazing disabled individuals. So without any further ado, let's get into it. This first segment has a group of amazing, strong disabled women talking about the power of acceptance in their disability identity. While for some of us, it is an innate thing that we've had since day one, we've accepted our disabilities. For others, the journey is a little bit more complicated. I hope you enjoy. Let's kick off with Maya.

 

Maya [00:02:07] I think I've really I've worked really hard to get to the level of confidence that I have right now. I've seen a therapist since I was 16 because when I was in high school, I kind of was showing that I was struggling a little bit with I'm having disability and I was the only person with a physical disability and in wheelchair at my at my school. And so I think I really struggle with that. And my identity in relationship to not having disability really changed. I remember when I was younger, I used to always be a bit upset because I mean when people have crutches, you're so popular and then when you have a wheelchair, it's like complete opposite. And I was just annoyed because I've got a spinal cord injury. So it's like it's no different to having a broken leg, but I'm treated so different. So that's when like therapy was really helpful for me. And I've really worked with my therapist. I've had the therapist I've got now since I was 19. So she really knows. She really calls me out on some stuff. She really knows how to get into that internalise ableism and just call me out. And she's been really helpful with kind of like working through a lot of that stuff that I had and a lot of the anxieties around being disabled. So now that I'm really confident and I don't think I would be able to do TaTa to the level that I did it if I hadn't have gone through that journey.

 

Fiona [00:03:28] Deaf culture to me is. It has actually transformed my entire life and sense of self. I went from very much acting and assimilating into the hearing world. I didn't even know that that's what I was doing, that that is the only pathway that I knew existed until I was in my mid-twenties. I didn't have deaf friends. I wasn't surrounded by deaf conversation, art, literature. I was just very much in the hearing world and the amount of doors that have opened to me of discovering that there's a deaf world, a world that is so vibrant and diverse. It's. Honestly, I think some of the most exciting art and thinking is happening in that space and. It's a space where there is so much diversity of ethnicity, sexuality, political perspective, comfort with language and communication is really diverse as well. And it's been really impacted by policy and institutions. But at the heart of it is this unflinching pride in that we are deaf, it is in our bodies, it's in our brains, it's in our hands, it's how we move and how we think and how we experience the world. It is language in four dimensions, and the things that excite me the most about it is how having that language makes me feel so at ease in my body and delighted as well. I think that's a real delight and humour that is in deaf culture as well. Knowing that there isn't a void in silence. Silence is just a space of possibility.

 

Peta [00:05:35] Faye's explanation of the beauty of deaf culture was so amazing. I will be linking all the episodes if you want to have a deeper listen of each person in the description of this episode. But Faye was an absolutely amazing guest. Now we have Chloe, who is based in the U.K., who is blind and also has cerebral palsy and uses a service dog. She does a lot of work not only in her professional life, but also in her advocacy. And she goes into schools in her spare time to educate people about living with a disability. And just this short excerpt of her episode really exemplifies the importance of open communication and creating an environment where disabled people feel comfortable.

 

Chloe [00:06:36] I've had a few times where I've gone into a classroom and there is a visibly disabled student in there and there's been a few occasions where actually by the end of my session they've been the one talking about the Disability to their class. And it's like, you just warms my heart. Like the thought that they kind of they felt that I created such a safe space that they could do that. And I think a lot of them, you know, like I've had teachers quote, be like, I've never even heard them, like, speak to their colleagues in a speech to their peers, never mind talk about their disability. So I think that is is like the goal.

 

Peta [00:07:23] So many disabled people have resilient and that is because it is a practice skill. That's my belief anyway. The more challenges you face, the more you have to dig deep and find that resilience to keep going. For this next segment, this group of people are absolutely no different. They are the definition of resilient. Flick Dianna and Annabel all share how they faced resilience, manage resilience, and how they keep having to be resilient every day. Even in small little actions proving themselves and their disabilities.

 

Flic [00:08:12] You know, there's a lot of mental resilience that you have to develop over the years. But even with all that, of course your trauma is going to be re triggered because you are finding yourself in all of those same sort of scenarios again. So for me, it's a lot of doing, a lot of poly vagal breathing. It's doing a lot of meditation. It's doing a lot of mental health sort of supports. It's writing things down. It's listening to specific types of music. It's stretching my body and it's doing all sorts of things that sometimes might even seem counterintuitive, like if you dropped a whole bunch of weight, you dropped 10 or 15 kilos in the space of a week, which can happen with my condition. It doesn't probably seem like super advisable to get out and go running, but sometimes there's certain things that you just have to do because you require your mental well-being to be in a state of good resolve and in check for you to then deal with what is going to come forward for you. Because it's not just dealing with the medical system. It's there's a there's thousands of small, intricate things. It's all of the medical admin. It's dealing with an overwhelming and or even a full health system. It's the cost. It's the huge costs that appears out of nowhere where you spending thousands and thousands of dollars on getting tests that are required to keep you alive. But it's not like you've got necessarily thousands of dollars sitting in the bank account just ready for all that to happen. So you kind of got stressors coming in from every angle. And so you've really got to know yourself, have such self-awareness, be able to recognise that you have been triggered, that your trauma is at the forefront and it's doing some of the talking and the behaving for you in order to try and protect you. And there's kind of that, I won't say bashful, but there's a conversation going on between the two parts of yourself, the traumatised version of yourself and the sort of mature, experienced, resilient self that are having a conversation at all times about like which one needs to be at the forefront right now and like, is this the appropriate time to be showing your anger, to be showing your frustration, to be showing you feel, and it's making calculated decisions about when and where to operate in that emotional space. And I think when you've been doing it for 20 something years, that's part of it. It just becomes second nature. But there is also definitely an aspect that is very conscious and very much about the self-awareness and just sort of going, I need to do this for me, and it might not make sense for you, but that's because you don't live in my body.

 

Deanna [00:10:54] The disability discrimination stigma that stuck with me as living with a as a person with an invisible illness as well. To this day, that was one of the bigger things that I had to experience and still experience throughout my life.  Like, as you mentioned, you know, like figuring out who I like dating, that kind of thing. That was fraught territory. When I was first coming into all that, I would disclose to partners. And like once again upon I thought I had an STI.  That I was disclosing MS as an STI. I think that's hilarious now. But at the time I was horrified. I was shocked. I was like, What? I've had partners that I went to be with me because of my disability as well as so many other people, just like a lot of. Just like what's the word? Sanctions people had to put on your body. So  that I shouldn't have kids, that I shouldn't travel. But, the other day, just very recently, I parked in a disabled bay. I do have the disabled The blue card. I need to go and toilet urgently. I had a woman nearly I nearly bold her over because she blocked my path and demanded to know why I was parking in an disabled spot while I was trying to like shimmy around her to go, run to the bathroom, also embarrassed. I nearly wet my pants in front of that lady because she kept she actually spread out her arms and was demanding to like ask me why I like to have MS. I have to scream at her like run around and thought was about to have an accident. But yeah, just it just seems to be neverending unfortunately. And yeah, for like, I'll say something nice, please don't say anything at all. Keep your opinions away from me. But yeah, that's really one of the bigger impacts that I still face I feel like everyone does with disabilities.

 

Peta [00:12:30] You've just heard Flic and Deanna. Both people with hidden disabilities talking about resilience and the fact that you have to employ resilience often every day, even when you're not expecting it. Simply going to the toilet can mean you need to practice resilience. But I thought there were fantastic examples and Flic's explanation of how she employs her resilience practices. I found to be really helpful. So go have a listen to either of those people's episodes if you feel like they resonated. I now have Annabelle, who is based in the UK. Her life changed overnight, becoming disabled and she spoke about having to employ her own resilience, but also being aware that her loved ones have gone through her diagnosis and her disability too, and how traumatic it can be in that medical system when your life has changed literally overnight.

 

Annabelle [00:13:36] You have to accept and take on your own emotions, which in itself is a roller coaster and. It's important to do the work for yourself in that area. But it is important to understand that there will be emotions from others. They will at the emotions from your loved ones. Initially, my loved ones were extremely strong, was still strong now. But we are able to have better conversation now. I am in a stronger, healthier mental state to ask how they are and we just support one another. And there's lots of wonderful charities out there. I know in the UK there's one called the Back Up Trust where you can get mentoring for yourself and your family can get support. And it's really important if you need to lean into that, that that happens. I haven't ever needed to lean into that. But it's important to know where your support is coming from and support everyone because although the story is about you and it's happening to you. It's also happening to all those around you as well.

 

Peta [00:14:56] I could have included so many segments about the low expectations that disabled people face in society today. It's such an unfortunate and yet pervasive thing that many of us face all the time. The conversation that struck me the most, though, was the one with Jarrod. His experience with special school, while positive, initially has resulted in a life of playing catch up. I hope you enjoy and keep keeping on, Jarrod.

 

Jarrod [00:15:34] Where I had the best time at special school. I was around people that I could relate to. I didn't really want to do any academic work. And lucky for me, special schools were very academic. The experience at the time was a positive one to an extent. But the day after I left special school Peta, was the day my world got turned upside down. Because I said to my mum and dad that there is no way I'm going to a day service or respite or wherever you want to call. I said, I'm not doing it. I am so far behind society in my education. What am I supposed to do here? And so those expectations that we used to talk about, I set the bar really low. I would go out drinking and. And you're hanging around and spending all my money on people and myself in pretty much dangerous situations. And what's even more ridiculous is that my parents were both teachers and in mainstream school. But was never thought of that I would, that there would be a way for me to attend mainstream school. It's always a good idea at the time people think. But the work that I have had to do afterwards, it's been really hard.

 

Peta [00:17:46] Every year. I always like to include a segment where I had an unexpected answer to a question from one of my guests. This year, there's no competition. I knew it straight away, and that was my conversation with Michael Hingson and the individual. He's blind. He survived 911 with his guide dog. An amazing story that I'm sure many of you already know. So I thought I knew the answers to the questions as I was going into this interview, but certainly was not the case when he spoke about disability and how he viewed non-disabled people. It changed my mind, or at least opened my mind to a different perspective. So without any further ado, he's Michael.

 

Michael [00:18:40] Well, the reality is if you want to get very technical about it, Peta, everyone on this planet has a disability and for most people their disability is their light dependent. Put a bunch of people in a room, people with eyesight, and then suddenly have all the power fail so that they're locked or they're lost in that room without any lights. People scramble around to try to find a smartphone or a flashlight or something to get light back on, because in 1878, Thomas Edison invented the electric light bulb, which as the Americans with Disabilities Act would say, was a reasonable accommodation to allow light dependent people to continue to function. But the fact of the matter is, all it does is it covers up their disability.

 

Peta [00:19:27] This segment that you're about to hear is with Khadija. They are an amazing disability advocate, and they made my job so easy this day. They spoke with such eloquence and conviction that I barely needed to speak. In this small segment from our amazing conversation, Khadija talks about the importance of inclusion and allyship and where that all should start. How they are not asking us to burn down the whole system, but to start with small steps towards true acceptance and inclusion. I hope you enjoy it.

 

Khadija [00:20:11] I think a lot of ways helping ourselves helps others because I don't want anyone to think they're going to save any community or all that. It's on them. But I think and I've always said this as a human rights activist, we are all these solutions to the challenges our family, community and nation are facing. If you focus on the what, you can influence your sphere of influence, how you raise your kids, the conversations you have on gender, racial equality, sexual equality, those values, what you did to your workplace, the decisions you make, who you hire, the accommodations you put in place for culturally, linguistically diverse people, for neurodivergent people when you apply for jobs. Who are you asking to recruit? And you bring in consultants like me who know the community rather than some white consultants who have not lived experience. Maybe you have enough to be part of your advisory group so we can be have a seat at the table to inform the services you deliver for us. Maybe next time you're on your panel, pass the mic. Think of who doesn't have a seat at the table. Who needs to have that seat? You have podcast interview, more diverse voices. I think too often people think when they ask me that question or they think what they think. I'm asking that question. I am going to say I need you to go to the street and burn it down. No. Do the bit you can do where you have influence. And we all have it from our partners and the conversations we have,  or the things we stand for at home, the gender equality. The jokes you make about disabled people, the TV shows you watch, and how you talk about disabled people are people are not white. These are everyday things that you are taking in and influences where you shop, who you support, who you hire, your workplace, your sports club, your religious communities. All of these spaces we have to be of influence. What do we do in these spaces? The conversations we have? Who we invite what we welcome, how we accommodate them? Because to welcome somebody is one thing to accommodate them. And we know, especially as wheelchair users, right? There's a difference between inviting me somewhere that without check is going to be wheelchair accessible. I can get to the door but not enter. What use is that? So don't just invite us. Accommodate us. Put the accommodations in place. In place so that then we can contribute. We can be meaningful in our presence and impact. If you are going to life and you are thinking of how your actions and decisions impact all the members of your community, I think we are already a long way ahead.

 

Peta [00:23:02] I can never predict the episodes that will resonate with you guys, the audience. Some episodes that I think are absolutely amazing never get the listenership that I expect. And then there are other ones that I think I was probably being a bit naive because of course, this next segment would be one of my most downloaded episodes for 2024. And that was Emma Bennison talking about the importance of not giving up on disabled employment. A really important topic for so many of us and so many of our friends and family who want to see us realise our potential. So without any further ado, here is Emma.

 

Emma [00:23:55] It's going to sound really cliched, but, I mean, I just I just can't stress enough. Don't give up. Like, you know, there's that old, old adage, you know, this too shall pass. And it sounds really cliche, but, you know, I think I spent a couple of years in just trying to find employment. And it was it was really depressing and really, really difficult. And I still. Haven't lost that sense of appreciation for the fact that I have a job. And I hope I never do lose that sense of appreciation because I think it's it's just so important. But yeah, I definitely would say don't don't give up. I would also say don't be afraid to step into a role that isn't exactly what you want. I think there's often a sense, particularly if like me, you've, you know, you've done a university degree that you kind of think, well, I'm qualified now, so I'm not going to settle for anything less. The reality is, and this was a hard reality and I think it's a hard reality for many of us to learn. The reality is that you might have a qualification, but you might not have what I call the soft skills that you need to be an employee. And you can only get those skills by actually, you know, getting work experience. And and unfortunately, a lot of us, a lot of us think people with disability don't necessarily always get those opportunities to go and get a part time job at McDonald's or, you know, do part time work when you're at school or at uni. And so we've often never been in the workforce before. And while that's not our fault, sometimes that means we do perhaps need to just go and do some volunteering or go into a lower level position than what we're qualified for. Recognising that that's not going to be where we're going to end up long term, we know that it's not about selling yourself short, it's about saying, okay, I just need to get some work experience on my CV and then I can go and do whatever I'm actually qualified for. My story is that I did a government. So I got a I got a bachelor's degree and then I did a government traineeship in office administration where I spent quite a lot of time answering phones and stuffing envelopes. But I learnt a huge amount about how government works and that has stood me in very good stead for my advocacy since. And so you might it's very important never to discount anything that comes onto your path because you just never know where it's going to lead you.

 

Peta [00:27:03] And that, my friends, is a wrap on this season of the I Can't Stand podcast. I hope you enjoyed this very special highlight episode of the podcast and the stories have left you feeling inspired, connected and proud to be disabled. As always, thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing your time with me and for being part of this little community. Your support really does mean the world. If you've loved this season, please don't forget to share the podcast with a friend or write and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify. I'll be back later in 2025 with more conversations of amazing individuals because there are so many amazing disabled individuals. I'm not likely to run out of content anytime soon, but until then, take care and I'll see you next year. I would like to respectfully acknowledge the Wurundjeri people and Bunurong people of the Kulin Nationof which I recalled the podcast today. And I pay my respects to both elders past and present, along with and especially to those in the First Nations communities who are disabled themselves.

 


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